Just Say Lo

Hey peeps,

Sorry it’s been so long since I last blogged. You know you’re my top priority, but even so, wait- no, you’re not my top priority. Whoops. That was awkward. Aaaaanyway… it’s a new year, and I’m ready to embrace it. But, before I do, I need to wrap up 2009 and close the book on it. If you’re looking for a sappy post, you better jump back out to the rest of the interwebs, because that’s not happening here. Because the year didn’t end so hot, I will try to wrack my brain to find some good things about the little year that couldn’t. Here we go, in no particular order:

Seeing Natali in March. Sure “Coraline” scared us more than a trip to the chainsaw factory, but we had a fun time and it was good to see her before she ran off to Alaska to be an eskimo.

“Jersey Shore”- How can you not watch those kids fist pumping till they puke up last night’s strawberry vodka and rigatoni?

Starting off 2009 in Cabo. Pure relaxation. Wonderful vacation companions. Fab trip.

Palm Springs with Rhi and Melissa. 3 girls, 1 weekend. Maybe not as compelling as “2 girls, 1 cup”, but we had a nice time. I guess if you count little Georgia growing in Mo’s belly, it was 4 girls. Or 3 girls + 1 fetus. Whatevs. Either way it was fun!

Portland. What more needs to be said?

Seeing the ‘rents. If I don’t put this, my mom will guilt trip me in the comments. Hi, mom!

“Hoarders” My new obsession. I may need an intervention for my “Hoarders” addiction. Yes, that was a cry for help. If I watch it so often I forget to to go to work and lose my job it’s on you.

Hanging out with the Nebraska fam for some good old-fashioned midwest fun.

Seeing Kathy Griffin live. She’s amazing.

Obama officially became our president.

The Ducks had a wonderful season. Okay, this is on here because they play today and it’s all I can think about. GO DUCKS!

Are you happy now? I was so positive you can call me Little Miss Sunshine. And yes, I do mean like the movie. I may not wear a leotard, but I have a chubby belly and a messed up little grin, too.

Before I close, I must note that I looked at my cell this morning and it said, 12:42am. Yes, 42 lives on and I saw the first one of the decade, it’s surely a sign of wonderful things to come… or that my deranged number obsession is getting worse and I should probably be committed. Either or.

Hope 2010 and beyond treats you well and holds you lovingly in its warm embrace. I hope it doesn’t try to sloppily kiss you with an open mouth and a tongue like a snake going in for the kill. I wish these things for you.

Heart,
Lo

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New Years, Something new, tv

Sorry, y’all. As you can tell I’ve been awful at blogging this summer. I thought about you when I saw “42″ all over the place this week and realized I hadn’t written to you in forevs. I promise an end of summer post within the next month or seven. Try to contain your currently unbridled enthusiasm and keep your anticipatory gasps to a minimum.

Heart,
Lo

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Loves it.

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Fo sho

Is that bad? Doo do doo do. Sorry, just needed a Junice fix and thought I would share the lurve.
Will update soon. Maybe…

Heart,
Lo

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Pop Culture, SNL

Sorry for my prolonged absence from posting. I know you’re used to it by now, but I have a somewhat decent excuse. First my in-laws visited, then I went to one of those states in the middle (Nalaska? Kebrasko? The corn one that’s not Iowa.) for a bit and I came home with a raging sore throat and cough. Luckily the doc gave me some lovely codeine cough syrup so I’m feeling okay (read: “nice and relaxed”) at the moment, but I do cough up green Gak from time to time. It’s loverly.

Although it’s a bummer that this cold has had me sidelined, it was a fantastic week for lying around and watching TV. Two- count ‘em- two hours of The Real Housewives of NYC, then a two-hour LOST, a two-hour Grey’s Anatomy, and the season finales of all my Thursday NBC shows. It was a glorious week even if felt like little razors were shredding my throat like cheese and I almost expelled one of my lungs out of my mouth on many occasions.

I will post more when I feel better. I miss you all terribly. Before I go… congrats to Maren and Stanton. They had their little guy Isaiah on 5/3. 8lbs. 7 oz. I got to meet him 5/4 and he’s adorable. Can’t wait to kick this cold so I can go play with him and see Mar again.

Don’t worry, I didn’t breathe on this post, so you should be okay. Until next time…. I wish you health and Reese’s Pieces. Or just plain peace. Whatever floats your boat.

Heart,
Lo

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sick and tired of being sick and tired

I had to blog today. I just found out that it’s Mrs. Garrett’s 83rd Birthday. Do you think Blair, Tootie, Jo and Natalie are throwing her a surprise party in Peekskill? Probably not. Blair’s most likely busy having a bible study with Kirk Cameron. Tootie’s probably dusting off her roller skates in an effort to become the next middle-aged roller derby girl. There’s a high probability that Jo is riding her motorcycle up to Canada to star in a Lifetime movie. And Natalie? Well, you know how she was. She’s probably living on a commune in New Mexico. She was an ambitious journalist though, so she no doubt has an important deadline to meet… on the commune’s monthly Neighborhood Watch newsletter. Too bad the gals won’t be together for the big day. Happy Birthday anyways, Mrs. G.

Lately I have been really into watching The Real Housewives of NYC. Do I have issues? Probably. Do any of you watch it? Will you admit it? I can’t stand Kelly. She is ridiculous. Like a heinous Denise Richards. Some of you probably think that Denise Richards is heinous in her own right, but she starred in Drop Dead Gorgeous so I’m holding out some hope for her. I try to look for the best in people so I’ll say maybe they’re editing Kelly to look bad, but it’s really hard to believe that. Some of the things that come out of her mouth are so cringe-inducing and eyebrow-raising that I think even Nicole Kidman’s forehead would give up and sprout a crease or two if she watched. Check out an episode or two and see for yourself.

Speaking of Kellys, my friend Kelly is going in for a C-Section some time this week. Although she is very excited about the birth of her child, she isn’t looking forward to the procedure itself. I think I helped a lot when I nicknamed the C-Section, “The old rip and grip.” Decide for yourself. I think it’s catchy. If you think about it, va-jay-jay births could use the same name. Moving on…

I went to the dentist last week and keeping with my tradition of writing poems to my dentist about my experiences, I’ve updated the Random section of this blog with a new ode. Be sure to check it out.

That’s all I’ve got for today. Hope you all are doing well and taking the time to stop and smell the spring flowers. Unless you’re allergic.

Heart,
Lo

UPDATE: My friend had the old rip and grip this morning and she now has a baby boy! (8 lbs 1 oz. 21 in.) Congrats!

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Friends + Fam, tv

No, seriously. Hold them. I don’t want them running wild like the brumbies in The Man From Snowy River. Anyhoo, just want to let you know that I will be posting in the next day or two. I realize I haven’t been too consistent with updating this here weblog (or “blog” as it is commonly referred to in everyday normal people speak, or “prose” as it is commonly referred to in everyday English teacher speak) over the last few months. But I do have a special treat for you if you stay tuned. I- wait for it-  went to the dentist this week. I plan to write another dental poem. If you’re confused about what I mean by “dental poem” please click on “Random” at the top of the screen for clarification. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but there’s some pretty impressive dental poetry in there. You only wish your six-year-old could write so well.

Bye for now.

Heart,
Lo

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excuses

I hope that was some good muzak. I had you on hold for the longest time.  What? You hung up? Rudeness! Anyhow, I returned from Palm Springs almost 2 weeks ago. Then Brice left for Japan, and while he was gone Natali (BFF) came to visit. When she left, Carol (BMom) came to visit. Then Brice came home and brought back a huge bag full of Japanese candy and several pairs of five-toed socks. Now you’re pretty much caught up on my life. But, before I forget, I have to say that Brice is obsessed with the socks. He got me some cute ones, but something about gloves for feet creeps me out. I’m sure I’ll get used to it. But probably not. I mean, c’mon, toes are to be ignored unless you have a My Little Pony pedicure. And I haven’t had one in ages. But I digress…

When Natali was here we saw the movie Coraline. I had heard rave reviews for it and knowing it was created in P-Town (Portland for those not “in the know”) I was excited to see it. Um… yeah. Not trying to hate on any peeps that had a hand in creating this, but Nat and I found it creepy and disturbing. The visuals were fine if you could get over the stilted Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer movements and the acid trip 3-D type effects. But what did I expect? Dakota Fanning is in it so you know what that means. You don’t? It means creepy. Talented kid. Loved her in The Secret Life of Bees and I Am Sam, but she does star in some creeptastic movies from time to time.

What else? Oh, today I finally gave into the dark side and joined Twitter.  As if Facebook isn’t a big enough chore, I’ll be sucked into Twitter as well.  Now I can stalk and be stalked. Not that anyone stalks me. I’d like to think someone would. But not in a creepy Dakota Fanning type of way. Anyways, you can find my Twitter updates on the right-hand side of this here blog.

I know I haven’t been updating this very much, and I know you probably won’t even read this for ages since you’ve given up on me, but I’m back and I will work at doing better. Thinking about starting to write a book since the job search is kind of blah. Have some ideas kicking around for a plot. What kind of books do you like to read? What would you like to see me write? Besides a love note to you. Duh.

Finally, 42 is still all around. Kelly witnessed it today. It’s everywhere. Like the sky and aerosolized fecal matter.  Yep, I said it. Look it up.

Heart,
Lo

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Friends + Fam, Movies, Social Networking

I know, I know.  I’ve been remiss. I haven’t posted in a few weeks and you miss me a lot. I get it. But you’re going to have to wait a little longer. I’m going away this weekend and will post when I get back. If you can hold on until then, I’ll fill you in on all the inner-workings of my brain as of late. Well, not all. Nobody wants to know ALL of that. It’s not pretty in there! Talk soon.

Heart,
Lo

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Hey dudes and dudettes~ Thought I would bless you with two whole posts in just one short week! Please try not to get used to the attention.

Mar and I saw Slumdog Millionaire tonight. Part of me really liked the movie. The story is compelling and it kept my attention throughout the 2 hours. But another part of me is completely depressed after seeing it. Not so much from the story, although parts of it ripped my heart out, but more from the depiction of the poverty and the slums. Really makes me appreciate the life I have. At the same time, as I mentioned, it made me completely depressed about my life and some aspects of it. I guess it must be a good movie if I am still thinking about it a few hours later. But really, who likes to think during and after movies? I mean, except my film major friend, Rosemary. (Who detested Mamma Mia by the way. Oy. Yes, I’m friends with a girl who loves Dumb and Dumber but hates Mamma Mia and refuses to watch The Sound of Music in its entirety! Who doesn’t love musicals?)

I’m looking forward to Sunday. Not for the Superbowl, although I may watch the ads, but for the episode of The Office following the game. Brice cringes when we watch The Office. Pretty much everything that Michael Scott (Steve Carell) says makes him squirm and feel embarrassed for the character. I try to tell him it’s “make believe”, but it doesn’t help.  He’s so sensitive.

Well, darlings, this has been a fun Friday night date, but I’m not ready to go steady. Seeing each other sporadically (shout out to Clueless) is fine, but if I tell you when to expect to hear from me, it will take some of the excitement out of our relationblogship. I think you’re really special though.

Heart,
Lo

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Movies, tv

Hey blog buddies- It’s been awhile, but I’m still here. I wanted to make sure to post today because it’s Tuesday. And you know what happens on Tuesdays? That’s right, “The Real Housewives of Orange County” is on. Today I tried to explain the show to my mom. But how do you explain the glory that is TRHOOC? You can’t. You have to see it to appreciate it for all its splendor.

Spent some time today on You Tube looking at “Ramblin’ Rod” videos. Didn’t manage to find the episodes I was in. For those of you who didn’t grow up in the magical wonderland that is Portland, “Ramblin’ Rod” was a kid’s cartoon show hosted by a guy called Ramblin’ Rod who wore a brown vest covered in buttons. Well, post “Office Space” we would refer to his buttons as “flair”. The man had a lot of flair. The show was taped with a kid-filled audience. All the kids made it on-air during the smile contest portion of the show, and if you were lucky and there on your birthday, you got a little extra attention. I tell you all of this to say that it was a bit of a blast to the past and made me want to have some fabulous fun at Farrell’s. What up P-Towners?

Brice and I have been watching episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” on DVD. How had we not seen this show before? It’s no “30 Rock”, but it is pretty funny. I heart Doogie Howser.

Sorry this is a quick one, but I need to get back to my busy life of uh… being busy… and uh… stuff. More soon.

Heart,
Lo

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tv

As you can see, my pinky swears are apparently useless. I had every intention of posting this weekend, but sleep sounded so nice and my bed was so comfortable.

It’s a new year (duh) and I’m wondering how many of you fine peeps make New Year’s resolutions. I try to stay away from them since I rarely stick to them. I figure if a new year is my only motivator to make and keep a change, then really, how motivated am I in the first place? I think Brice and I are going to try to make some together so we can remind one another and whip each other into shape. That sounded so dirty. I didn’t mean literally!

Mar and I saw “Bride Wars” last night. I thought it was cray cray how Anne Hathaway stole some of my best dance moves for the movie. We don’t know each other, but she obvs knows of my dance rep. Not so much the stripper-esque dancing, but the “Sprockets”. You’ll have to tell me what you think when you watch the movie… on DVD.

Life is life- had a fabulous time in Cabo and got some sun. Everyone else came away tan- I came away a normal color that doesn’t cause snow-blindness. Score! After we returned from Cabo my little sister Jess came to stay with me. Had fun and went up to the mountains where we proceeded to do some sweet moves on the snowboards- you know, we shredded some pow- on the greens. And we had beer.

And… now you’re caught up. See, it really wasn’t worth the wait. Stick with me, kids, it can only get better. And please don’t stick that fork in your eye. Not cool.

Heart,
Lo

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dAnCe, Good Times, New Years

Okay, it’s been too long. I left the country and you feel like I left you. I missed you too. It hurts when we’re apart. Really, I’ve been ignoring you. And…. I’m too tired to post right now, but I plan to write this weekend. Pinky swear.

Heart,
Lo

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excuses

Just a quick post to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or a festive whatevahs. Hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow and a lot of fun with your friends and families.

Your gift this year? A post from me on Friday. You’re welcome.

Heart,
Lo

UPDATE 12/28:
I didn’t say what Friday I would be posting so, really, I’m not behind. Headed to Mexico for the week. See you in ‘09!

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Holid-hey

How have I not seen the entire movie Sleeping With the Enemy before? I caught it tonight and must ask- did anyone think this movie was any good? Don’t get me wrong, I generally like Julia Roberts in movies. But, now that I think about it, most of the movies I like her in were made before Sleeping With the Enemy. Like Steel Magnolias, Pretty Woman and Mystic Pizza. But I digress. I’d have to say my favorite part of the movie was hearing Maxi Priest’s “Close to You”. And that’s saying something… hopefully not about me.

We went snowboarding today and I am already sore. Can’t wait to see how my legs feel tomorrow. Wait- yes, yes I can.

The 42 thing happens about 5 times a day, and always when I am NOT looking for it. But don’t worry, I promise not to go all A Beautiful Mind on you. I haven’t clipped newspaper and magazine articles containing the number 42 and hung them on the wall with strings between them to map out their connections. At least not yet. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Heart,
Lo

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Movies, WTF

I like alliteration.

Well, I see by your lack of comments that Lauren Graham’s triumphant return to the small screen isn’t as exciting to you as it is to me. But you have to admit, she has a pretty awesome first name….

It snowed a crap ton last night and at 2am it was so bright it looked like it was the afternoon. I tried to snap a picture to share, but it didn’t turn out so great, so please use your imagination. It was kind of like being in the Ivory Tower Palace from The Neverending Story… or not.

We watched an amazing documentary last night called King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. It had to do with the controversy surrounding the world record high score for Donkey Kong (the arcade game). I can’t even describe it to you. The characters involved are…well… there are no words. Click here to check out the trailer. I think it’s Brice’s new favorite movie.

Lastly, I am a little too excited about the upcoming DVD release of Mamma Mia on Tuesday. A friend who shall remain nameless (she owes me vodka so I will tell you- it’s SARAH aka Swearge) and I are planning to have some drinks, watch and sing along. You’ve never heard the song “Mamma Mia” until you’ve heard Swearge’s rendition. I get chills when she sings the line “There’s a fire within my soul.” No really. Maybe chills of fear that she is going to tear me apart limb by limb and feed my torso to her dog, but the raw power and emotion she invokes in her song is pretty powerful. Back to the movie; I can’t stand ABBA, but I heart Meryl Singing ABBA. Speaking of Meryl, I watched The Bridges of Madison County yesterday. Depressing. But Streep is amazing even when she acts like an Italian in Iowa. Tear.

For my friends in P-Town, congrats on your snow! Enjoy! If you really want to frolic in the snow, come out here and we can go up and play in the mountains. I think after a few weeks of weather like we are having I will be ready for our Cabo trip. Eh, who am I kidding? I am ready now!

Peace, love and hot cocoa with whipped cream, marshmallows and a bit of Bailey’s to you all.

Heart,
Lo

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Fun, Movies

Let’s catch up this weekend. In the meantime, here’s a link to the best news ever. My fav television actress is coming back to TV. And who’s down to go to NYC next spring to see her on Broadway? This girl. Any other takers?

Okay, more to come this weekend.

Heart,
Lo

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Good news

Sorry for the prolonged absence. I’ll try not to leave you for that long again.

For those of you who are wondering, the 42 thing is still happening with alarming frequency, but now I just laugh when I see it. Laugh to hide my fear….

Thanksgiving was a good time. Had some turkey at my aunt and uncle’s place and spent some quality time getting competitive with the fam while playing Mexican Train. Meant to do a post about things and peeps I am thankful for, but never got around to it. I am thankful for y’all nonetheless. “Right, Lo, you can’t even post for 2 weeks and you want us to believe you’re thankful for us?” Why yes. Yes I do. Stop badgering me.

Thanksgiving weekend also yielded some tidings of great joy as my Oregon Ducks kicked some Oregon State Beaver ass. So I’d have to say, since you complained so much about me not posting, I am more thankful for that win than for you. Oh, okay, I didn’t mean it. I know you’re not even reading this. You’re off reading Diablo Cody’s posts aren’t you?

I hate to say this, but my time as a housewife is drawing closer to its end. I’m starting to look for a full time gig. Living the dream for a few months was nice and did wonders for my health and outlook on life, but really, I’m not cut out to be home all day. I need to be productive. In other words, I like paychecks and I don’t like not having them.

This week has been a difficult one as I have a friend who is going through a ridiculously hard time. It really does make me stop, give pause and be thankful for the good things in life. So cheers to you. Thanks for being the wonderful peeps you know you are. I think I’ll go drink a Dirty Shirley or two on your behalf.

Heart,
Lo

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Thank you all for your concern about my :42 “curse”. Several of you reached out to me, but I need to thank my buddy Jonathan for his wise assessment of the situation. He pointed out that when you Googleate the phrase “What is the answer to life, the universe and everything?”, the Google calculator gives you the answer “42″. So, instead of being presented with a sign of my impending demise, I am being presented with “the answer”. I think of this as a much better alternative. Now we can put my :42 obsession on the back burner for awhile, except, of course, to admit that I am the chosen one; The key to the mysteries of life. I’m like Claire on Heroes. Just call me “The Catalyst” or, you know, Lo works too. Whatevs.

Speaking of TV shows, are you all watching the US version of Kath + Kim? Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to like it. I knew it starred my 3rd favorite television actress, Molly Shannon, and that was a huge selling point, but the promos just seemed odd. I can tell you that I LOVE this show. Brice and I laugh so hard when we watch it. If you can catch the episode “Old” on Hulu.com please do. There are two dance scenes at the end that remind me of a combination of old school Kid ‘N Play and my wedding reception dancing. So you can imagine it is pretty impressive.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about how much I admire and dig Diablo Cody. You may remember hearing about her when she won a little award called an Oscar for Juno. Yes, I loved that movie a lot and still do, but have you read any of her work? I stumbled across some articles she wrote for EW.com and it’s like she picked my brain and put it on paper. Of course that means she is amazing. Her analysis of the new 90210 is spot on and I will forever adore her for writing an article honoring the woman whose books influenced many an adolescent female (and made them think they could do exercises to increase their bust), Judy Blume. Diablo’s wit and humor are truly an inspiration and I encourage you to read what she writes. Well, you should read her work as long as you don’t start loving her more than you love me and as long as reading her work doesn’t interfere with you reading my blog. I wouldn’t want to have to stop liking her because you turn to her for your daily distraction. It would hurt.

If you’re still reading thanks and “42″to you. See you tomorrow.

Heart,
Lo

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42, Alive, Pop Culture

I will be posting later tonight, but I had to tell you guys that I thought I was free of the “42″ curse today. But then I looked at my cell and saw it was 3:42pm. Why? Okay, chat with you all later…

5:42pm. Okay, now it’s just annoying!

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The above is pretty much the nicest thing anyone has said to me in awhile. Thanks, Rosemary! She didn’t even mean in it like “nightmare” either. Score! Rose and I had a great dinner and, seeing as she has yet to buy me any vodka, I feel free to talk about her on the blog. Yes, that’s a reminder to some of you slackers!

I have had the weirdest sensation for the past week. Pretty much every night I have looked at the clock and it has either been 8:42 or 10:42. It is freaking creepy. Isn’t there some movie where when you see the clock at the same time every day it means you’re doomed or something? Or maybe it means I’m not a dream per se, but I’m in a dream. That does make more sense. All I know is that it’s getting so I am afraid to look at the clock.

On a different note- I want to tell all you aspiring future housewives out there (Kelly!) that housewifery is not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure it’s nice to make your own schedule and your own rules for the day, but it’s also really freaking boring. But I suppose some of you, if not all, are a tad better at showing your domestic side than I am.

Sorry for the boring hodge podge. My brain isn’t functioning but I didn’t want to leave you hanging… again. I know in my last post I pulled out some Annie for you and I don’t want to spoil you but I feel I must post a little Sound of Music now:

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen
I’d like to stay and taste my first champagne

Crap… that reminds me, I need a drink.

Heart,
Lo

Update: I just changed my Facebook status and I noticed that the time stamp was 1:42am. Seriously- what is it with 42 minutes past the hour? I think I was born at 42 minutes past the hour too. I should check that out. Creeptastic. If I wake up in the morning, look at the clock and see a time display ending in “42″ I’m not getting out of bed!

Update 2: Was just running up the stairs and glanced down at the clock in the kitchen: 2:42pm. Seriously?

Update 3: Ugh! 9:42pm. I need to stop looking at the clock.

Update 4: I just checked to see how much time is left in the show I’m watching. It said :42. Think it’s time to go to sleep… with one eye open.

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Days of Blunder, WTF

…I love ya tomorrow. You’re always a day away.
That’s right. I just busted out a little Annie for you. I was planning to post today, and I do plan to update this every weekday, but I’m not feeling so hot tonight. Let me put it this way- the highlight of my day was watching four grown adults get into a fistfight on a 2006 episode of “Wife Swap”. Enough said? We’ll chat tomorrow. And now I’m going to get back to my rerun of Reba. I told you… it’s a bad day. Don’t judge.

Heart,
Lo

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I’m not going to lie, I like my old blog a lot. But let’s be honest, It wasn’t very inclusive. With the made up names and locations you needed a glossary just to remember what your fictional name was. Forget trying to keep track of my pets, relatives and friends who live in other cities. So, with a fresh start in mind, I give you the same snark under a different URL. And, if you’re nervous about what I might write and don’t want me to use your real name, you’ll have to stop and think about what you’re doing before you get wasted and start dancing on tables with a thong on your head. (I’m looking at you, Mom. Kidding.) Or you can just email me at lo (at) justsaylo (dot) com and offer me vodka in exchange for anonymity. Welcome to the beginning of something new.

Heart,
Lo

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Something new