I had to blog today. I just found out that it’s Mrs. Garrett’s 83rd Birthday. Do you think Blair, Tootie, Jo and Natalie are throwing her a surprise party in Peekskill? Probably not. Blair’s most likely busy having a bible study with Kirk Cameron. Tootie’s probably dusting off her roller skates in an effort to become the next middle-aged roller derby girl. There’s a high probability that Jo is riding her motorcycle up to Canada to star in a Lifetime movie. And Natalie? Well, you know how she was. She’s probably living on a commune in New Mexico. She was an ambitious journalist though, so she no doubt has an important deadline to meet… on the commune’s monthly Neighborhood Watch newsletter. Too bad the gals won’t be together for the big day. Happy Birthday anyways, Mrs. G.
Lately I have been really into watching The Real Housewives of NYC. Do I have issues? Probably. Do any of you watch it? Will you admit it? I can’t stand Kelly. She is ridiculous. Like a heinous Denise Richards. Some of you probably think that Denise Richards is heinous in her own right, but she starred in Drop Dead Gorgeous so I’m holding out some hope for her. I try to look for the best in people so I’ll say maybe they’re editing Kelly to look bad, but it’s really hard to believe that. Some of the things that come out of her mouth are so cringe-inducing and eyebrow-raising that I think even Nicole Kidman’s forehead would give up and sprout a crease or two if she watched. Check out an episode or two and see for yourself.
Speaking of Kellys, my friend Kelly is going in for a C-Section some time this week. Although she is very excited about the birth of her child, she isn’t looking forward to the procedure itself. I think I helped a lot when I nicknamed the C-Section, “The old rip and grip.” Decide for yourself. I think it’s catchy. If you think about it, va-jay-jay births could use the same name. Moving on…
I went to the dentist last week and keeping with my tradition of writing poems to my dentist about my experiences, I’ve updated the Random section of this blog with a new ode. Be sure to check it out.
That’s all I’ve got for today. Hope you all are doing well and taking the time to stop and smell the spring flowers. Unless you’re allergic.
Heart,
Lo
UPDATE: My friend had the old rip and grip this morning and she now has a baby boy! (8 lbs 1 oz. 21 in.) Congrats!
22/04/2009 at 6:13 pm Permalink
This is my fave blog so far! Nice work. I LOL’d. It’s true.
22/04/2009 at 11:12 pm Permalink
first off…I seriously spelled my name wrong last time. Second, I started watching Real House Wives of NYC because Kathy Griffith made so much fun of them from the A-list awards. This show is a train wreck, that one model lady looks like Ru Paul and they all need a swift slap in the face…but I watch because it makes me feel better about myself (sad, huh)? You so funny lady…I laugh long time!
23/04/2009 at 8:41 pm Permalink
Loved it!! And, you ARE a poet–but I think you know it!